Attachment and Heartbreak

Last week, the blonde and I took Duder and Daisy out for a walk in the hills by our house.  It is a good place to go, with many trails and they can run ofdaisy2f leash.   On our way back from the walk, Daisy ran out into a dirt road and was hit by a truck.  We did not see it happen, but we heard her cry out.  We ran to where she was, one of her back legs was broken along with other injuries.  She was scared and in pain.  I was able to pick her up, load her into the truck then head straight to the animal hospital.

The scene was very unpleasant, and I do not like to think about it.

Thorough exams took place, options were limited.  Daisy ended up having her back leg amputated.  She is recovering from the surgery and has other injuries that need to heal.  She still has a long way to go.  We are hopeful and encouraged so far.

Got me thinking…

First, why such attachment to a dog?  She is “just a dog” right?  In our case, the answer was no.  She is not just a dog.  Our kids have moved out and these two “dogs” are our next generation kids.  They are with us everywhere we go.  They are part of our family.  The blonde and I are heartbroken that this happened to our little girl.

Second, are tdaisy1here other things in life that we are attached to?  I own a motorcycle and I do have somewhat of an attachment to it.  There are times when I might even think it is part of the family, but the blonde does not, so she makes me keep it outside.  I even had plans to build a ramp up the front porch and park it in the living room.  Would I be heartbroken if something happened to my bike?  Maybe.

Third, what should we truly be attached to in our life?  Is it the objects, like my motorcycle?  Or is it the people in our lives.  I would argue that it should be the people, primarily friends and family.  They are irreplaceable.

So, don’t forget your truly important attachments and let them know.

I have an attachment to the blonde and she has an attachment to me (especially when she is riding on the back of the bike with me.  She is holding on for dear life  😊)


Making the Blonde Happy

If anyone follows @duderanddaisy on Instagram, you know that the blonde loves to dress the dogs up.  Sometimes I feel bad for them.  I mean come on, dogs aren’t supposed to be dressed up like that??  It’s pure torture, right?  I see all the work tduderhat the blonde goes through to get them to sit still and put clothes on them, then sit still while she takes all the pics.  (everyone should observe one of these pictures sessions, it is very trying for her, and quite hilarious for me)

So, why do the dogs go through all that?  In their case, they definitely get rewarded with treats and attention.

Got me thinking…

Does the blonde want me to do things that I don’t want to do?  Of course.  She tries to dress me as well.  Makes me go shopping with her.  Watch the chick flicks.  You should see my honey do list,,,holy cow its big.

So, why do I go through all that?  Because, I get rewarded as well.  It makes the blonde happy, which in turn makes me happy.  That is my reward.

Why do we do anything in life?  Do we always expect to get rewarded?  Do we only do things if we get something in return?

How about service or charitable work fdasiyor our fellow humans.  Do we only do this if we get something out of it?

How about we change the mindset a bit.  We do it, and should do it, purely because we care.  Purely because we should.  I believe we are all born with a basic goodness in our hearts and want to help others because it is the right thing to do.

So, go find a neighbor, a friend, a colleague that needs your time and attention.  Don’t look for anything in return, just do it because you should.

Vision Cone


Daisy had to have a couple of procedures done recently that has required her to wear a wonderful cone on her head for a while.  She seems to wear it with pride, always holding her head high (but that is probably because if she didn’t, the bottom would hit something and flip her over in a somersault).  She has learned to use it like a weapon.  She chases Duder around and attacks him with it, charging and swinging.  (think about it and you will laugh)

The other day, I was watching her, and realized that this cone limits her vision.  She can only see directly out of the front and she has to swing her head to see anything, usually in a very violent motion.  Part of me felt bad, but part of me found it quite amusing.

Got me thinking…

Do we have a vision cone?  Do we get so focused on something that we can’t see anything else?

I think there is good and bad to this thought.  There are many times when wearing our vision cone is required.  Golf is a perfect example.  If you are playing golf, and you are not focused, then it will affect you and will shoot a bad score, like my brother.  Other examples might include working at your job.  You need to focus on what you are doing and not let outside things distract you.  I had to put my vision cone on to write this blog.  How about spending time with your spouse or significant other?  Put that cone on, put that phone away.

daisy-cone1However, are there times when we put the cone on that it becomes a problem?  Maybe someone said something to you that you did not like.  Does this force you to put your cone on and that is all you see and focus on?  There are times when I have read something about politics or things going on in the world and found myself with my cone on thinking about nothing but that.  When these things happen, it is important to recognize it and take that cone off and look around at everything else.

Point is, learn to use your vision cone effectively.  Know when to wear it and when to take it off.


Duder is the Mature One


We brought Duder home as a puppy.  We went through all the normal puppy training and pains.  Then we brought Daisy home and we started the puppy pain all over again.  However, with Daisy it seemed to be worse.  I was watching Daisy today doing her normal puppy obnoxious behavior, I looked over at Duder and thought about how mature he was compared to Daisy.  Made me proud.  Then he jumped on the counter, grabbed a stack of napkins and ran downstairs.  I was no longer proud.

Got me thinking…

What does it mean to be mature?  We use the term immature to describe someone acting childish.  So, as we grow, we are supposed to become more mature.  What does that mean though?  Do we all mature at the same rate?  Are we all supposed to be at certain maturity levels by a particular age?

I think we can use one word to define the state our lives, “response”.  Who we are and how mature we are is shaped by our response to life.  Everything in our lives requires a response from us, a physical or an emotional response.  Let’s take an example.  You are walking through a parking lot at a store.  Someone almost runs you over then calls you an idiot.  How do you respond?  How do you want to respond?  How do you think you should respond?  Anger?  Anger that last for days?  Do you tell Duder to go pee on them?

Or, do you smile and tell them to have a nice day.  Duder would run over and lick their face and make them feel good.  We should all respond to life like Duder.   Everything in our lives requires a response from us, make it a good response and one that will bring you happiness.

Chasing Shadows


Duder is getting obsessed.  At night, he will stand on the couch and watch the shadows on the wall.  Occasionally, he will attack them and leave slobber all over the place and yes, there are some scratches on the wall (which makes the Blonde a little unhappy).  Most of the time it is his own shadow, and he will sit there and stare for long periods of time.

Got me thinking…

Do we chase shadows?  Stay with me here…  There are events and people in my seemingly long life that sometimes haunt me.  I will see something or hear something and one of those events that I do not like will climb into my mind.  I think about it.  It affects my mood.  I get obsessed thinking about it to the point of complete frustration.  If someone was watching this happen to me, they would not have a clue why, but they would see that something was bothering me.  This is true of people who have been on my bad side in the past.  They can still climb into my mind and cause me distress.

caveWhy is this?  Why do we let these things control us?  But that is exactly what they are doing, they are controlling us.

So, how do we stop this?  I do not think there is a simple answer.  I do believe that the first step it to at least recognize and acknowledge that this might be happening.  When we feel it come on, that is when we try to stop it from the start.  Deep breaths and simple meditation techniques can calm you.  Then tell yourself that “this is my mind, and I will not let this control me”.

Simple enough right?  I tried to teach this to Duder, but alas, he is still chasing those shadows.  So, in this case, let’s learn from Duder by not acting like him.  Stop chasing the shadows and the things we cannot control or change.

The Family Dogs

2018-02-12_21-47-51The Blonde and I took a week long vacation recently, which required us to take Duder and Daisy to a boarding place.  (I could not get any of my family to take them.  Why no one would want take these two adorable pups is beyond me)  We returned home very late one night and I went to pick up the pups the next morning. During the flight home I was thinking about them.  That night I was thinking about them.  I was getting excited to have them back with us.  I arrived at the boarding place when they opened the next morning.  As expected, they were just as excited to see me as well.  Fun moment.

Got me thinking….

I am nuts???  These are just dogs.  Why I am getting excited like this?

Which then got me thinking…

2018-02-12_21-50-03What is it about our love of dogs?  Dogs are a pain in the butt!!!  Who loves to clean up poop??!!  My backyard is a disaster.  Pee spots.  Most plants have been eaten and dug up.  Planters of flowers have had all the dirt thrown out.  The things they have eaten and destroyed.  The time we spend on them.  The money we spend on them.  Trimming nails.  Painful baths.  Vets.  Counter surfing.  The whining and begging.  Can’t use the bathroom alone anymore.  etc..

So what is it that makes us love them and make them a part of our families?  I honestly do not know if there a single answer to this question.  What I do know is that they will always have unlimited and unconditional love for the blonde and I.  They will always look out for us.  They will always be happy to see us.   These are good attributes for any of us to have.  If we all acted this way, I think we would all find greater happiness and peace in our lives.

So, live your life like a dog, just don’t poop in the backyard.

What is with these girls???


We brought Daisy home a little while ago to join us in our family.  Duder now has someone new to play with.  This was a change for him, everything was different and he had to adjust.  The blonde and I had some adjustments to make as well.  Duder was no longer the king of the castle.  Daisy has taken over as the princess ruler.

One day, Duder was sitting on the chair and Daisy was trying her best to pester him.  He gave me this pleading look of “Dad, what is up with girls?  They are such a pain!!”

Got me thinking…

Girls are a pain.

drinkingfromthebowlGuess I could end there huh??  But let’s explore this a bit.  I love it when the Blonde asks me what I want for dinner.  We all know is doesn’t matter what I want for dinner.   Eating food off my plate.  They take forever getting ready to go.  Always needing to be center of attention.  Shopping (nothing more needs to be said about that).  Chick-Flicks (no, not another one?)  Entire closet just for shoes.

At the same time, girls are our lifeblood.  Let’s face it, we cannot live without them.  They add a wonderful dimension to our lives that evens us out.  Makes us better people with their genuine love of life and people and influence they have over us.

Guys, we need to cherish those girls in our lives, whether they are spouses, daughters, or moms.  Show them the love they deserve.  Take some time to reflect on the good they add to our lives and find true gratitude for them.  Duder has.

Duder got Neutered…


We took Duder through the wonderful time of getting neutered.  As the blonde likes to put it, he lost his balls.  (in fact, at one point she told me to chop them off and hang them from my truck)  After the procedure, one of my daughters asked me this question: “Dad, are you going to make a duder blog post about losing your balls? You guys have so much in common!”

Got me thinking…

First – Why is my daughter asking me about my balls?

Duder and DaisySecond – Yes, I have technically been neutered.  Thank goodness, not the same method they used on Duder.  Along these lines, some advice for those thinking about going through the Human version of neutering,,,  do not, I repeat, do not let your spouse in the room with you when you get it done.  The Blonde was laughing the entire time.  Picture that, laying on table, Doctor and Nurse working on that particular area and your wife laughing her head off.  Chills just thinking about it…

Third – The Blonde said that Duder lost his man card.  However, I do not think it was the neutering that did that.  As soon as we brought his new little sister home, they were gone.  As soon as I met the Blonde, mine was gone as well.  I try desperately to cling to it.  Try to do manly things, but hey let’s face it.  The Blonde is in charge, always will be.

And, I’m okay with that.

Yep, no man card here…


A new member of the family


This week, we picked up a new member of our family.  Say to hello to Daisy.  She is a Vizsla, just like Duder.  We are happy to give her a home and new big brother.  We picked her out of a litter of Pups and brought her home.

Got me thinking,,,

Neither Daisy or Duder picked who their owners would be.  They did not choose who their family is.  This is true for us as well.  We all have families and we did not pick any of them.  (maybe a spouse, but not the family that comes along with that)

Duder and Daisy

Oh the fun of families.  I am pretty sure that I am the one in my family that everyone finds the most annoying.  But, they did not pick me 🙂  They are forced to have me 🙂  There will always be aspects of our families that can drive us crazy, or is that just me?  How we choose to react and interact with our family is up to each of us.

Duder and Daisy are happy with us.  They choose to be so.  (simple thought for sure, but true)  We should also find the good in every member of our family and be grateful for having them in our lives.  Learn how to interact with all of them in a manner that is best for them.  This will make life easier for you.

Let’s learn from Duder, if someone from your family feeds you, be happy and lick their face.

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Duder Loves Star Trek

star trek

He loves Star Trek.  He has a captain’s chair bed, sleeps in a Star Trek bed on a Star Trek blanket, and has a Star Trek name tag.  He tells me all the time how much he likes it.  Ok, maybe he doesn’t, he is a dog after all.  But I love it and so he must love it too, right?

Got me thinking…

Do our kids or those around us all love the same things as us?  I forced, yes forced, my kids to all listen to my music.  I even made them watch Star Trek every once in a while.  I want them to like everything I like, because obviously it is the best.  If I like it, then it must be good right?   I also think that all my kids should have the same philosophical view of life.  (Duder does)

star trek name tage

I believe that a goal of any parent it to teach kids to live their own life, make their own choices, and decide for themselves what they like.  I can influence, I can persuade, but ultimately, our kids grow up and they have to decide for themselves who they are.  As one of kids put it to me one day, “I don’t like adulting”

I look back at the things my Mom and Dad like.  Do I like everything they do?  Nope.   Did they influence my likes?  Of course.  I don’t think they like Star Trek though…

star trek bed

Let’s learn from Duder.  He knows that Star Trek is one of the best media franchises created.  We all should admit that.  Do I dare say it is better than Star Wars??  Of course.  We should all admit that too.

BTW, there are not a lot of dogs on Star Trek,,, why is that?  I can only think of one regular.  Anyone know who?